Graduation? How about organization!

My daughter and her class just graduated from high school this week! For most parents, this should have been an event to remember. For me, and maybe it's just me, it's been the week from hell.

Graduation night was very unorganized. Her high school went down to our local football stadium (gee, not at the high school anymore?) and sat in chairs on the floor while we were up in the stands, supposedly gazing adoringly at our scholars. What I really wanted was to find out who was in charge of this expedition and tell them point-blank that no, my mother who is handicapped and using a cane, is not very capable of the long walk around the stadium to start with, let alone the long walk inside the stadium to get to the "assigned" area for sitting, but asking her to walk down the stairs halfway to her seat?? Absolutely unforgiveable! Most parents attending had no trouble, granted, but there were a few in wheelchairs. They got to sit at the very top of the stairs, so the only way to gaze adoringly at their graduate was through binoculars. And finding everyone afterwards? Please! There was too much confusion and conglomerating at the nearest light pole to take pictures of the graduates to make finding someone even a sane idea!

Now the next three days did pass uneventfully, thankfully, but then it started again with Friday night friends gathering, Saturday night concert and Sunday night dinner. We did have a "congratulations" stop-by-for-cake-and-say-hi event planned for Sunday, but now it has to be planned around this dinner.

I do realize that she is of legal age, no longer in high school and perfectly capable of maneuvering her pilot's chair to the fullest, richest cruise she can find, but I thought life slowed down just a bit after high school? So far I have not seen evidence to support this - including my wallet.

I just realized that with graduation, only three things actually cost more: 1) a wedding, 2) college, 3) a baby. OK, wait a minute, 4) a divorce. No, I'm not planning on that! But I have to throw that in, those can be REALLY expensive and comparable to paying for graduation.

Melting my flower petals off

O-K! For those who may not know (and probably don't care), I live in Glendale, Arizona - a small suburb of Phoenix, also know by such nicknames as "hotter than hell", "hot as hell", and "hell is cooler than AZ!". We have now officially slipped out of spring and dove right into our summer, or what I term "our five months of hell".

I'm just asking for a little help, though it may be beyond all the powers you possess: just send a small cool front our way, maybe even a little rain, for say, every couple of weeks over the next five months? That does help make the heat out here more bearable. It gets so hot at times ("how hot does it get?") that a woman sometimes has trouble telling if she's reacting to the season of heat or her menopause.

Now I know we don't have a ton of the humidity that most other places experience, but really, I don't think there's a lot of difference between 55% humidity and 105-108 degrees vs. 90% humidity and 90 degrees. Both are equally stifling, both are equally suffocating, and both make me wish I could just live in my shower - FOR-EV-ER!

Chime in, guys, everybody can whine this time: where are you from, and how hot does it get where you are?? What's the average?

Yuletide? Not on MY budget!

Christmas does seem to come earlier every year. Just ask the retailers; they have to make room on the shelves and the back rooms for merchandise that will sit for about five months. Some will be sold, others won't, but they have to have it on hand if possible. The retailers also have to put up those decorations that make us gasp and think, "Oh man! Already??" but trust me, we're not mad at you. We know you have to have those decorations up early.

That's the red tape of retail.

This year is more critical than before. The economy has contracted so far, a lot of people are having a tough time even thinking about the holidays, let alone shopping for them. It's been hard for the business owners, too, retail or not. The contraction has many business owners scrambling to find ways to stimulate their bottom line so they won't have to make ugly choices, such as layoffs or closing their doors. Nobody has a good answer, or a good solution, for this deep a problem.

My solution is probably not a popular one, and it won't make anybody rich, but somehow it makes a little sense to me. Seems to me, we all need to do a little shopping. And the feds? I say bail out the people, the small business owners - not the huge corporations who helped cause this mess to start with! And someone tell me WHY these executives should be sitting on any board that decides where the bailout goes? I've heard it had to do with their "experience" in business management. HELLO?! Earth to Feds: How the hell do you think America got into this mess in the first place? Joe Consumer here didn't cause it!

Let's see: the auto makers want part of the bailout to avoid "millions becoming unemployed". Where was this thinking when times were better, they could charge whatever they wanted for a vehicle, and oh yes, they didn't have to worry about coming up with a more fuel efficient vehicle because everyone needed a vehicle and gas! It was a great cash cow, and we, the American public, were their patsy! The auto manufacturers get to finger the government and the public while times were good; now that they're in a jam, suddenly the feds are their best friends!?? It's insane! I say make them EARN the bailout! They should be made to sign a lending agreement, similar to the type we would see when applying for a loan. In the agreement, the auto makers MUST agree to come up with a more fuel-efficient vehicle and/or find an alternative fuel within two years, or be forced to repay the entire loan back in full plus an additional 35%! I guarantee you, Joe Consumer would see very different results.

Now the insurance industry: Folks, you guys have had it good way too long. AIG, I don't know what you were thinking, other than double-dipping?? Probably not the right phrase...how about messing over both the public and the equivalent of perjury to the government? Uncle Sam bails you out and you take a $300K party??? At the Hilton??? You guys take the cake! I don't care how many meetings you canceled prior to this shindig, and I don't care how much of the event the sponsors actually covered - what gives you the right to cry "wah, wah, poor me, help me!" and then, days before you get more money from Uncle Sam, turn around and host a seminar for $343K? Ain't'cha never heard of brown-bag? Pot luck? How about simply canceling the seminar in favor of a webinar? Gee, guess that's too much like making sense - there would have been virtually no money spent!

I say businesses that's aren't being fiscally responsible should be allowed to fail. Now, I do realize that puts lots of people into the unemployed statistical column, but let's face it: would you rather work for someone who's lying and cheating to the people and their government, or let them figure out how they're going to recover? Lord knows we, Joe Consumer, have to figure it out - why can't they??

Yes, Ebenezer, it's not Santa Claus - YET

It's just about that time of year. It's getting colder, snow's flying in Pittsburgh, some folk are being a little nicer to one another....so you gotta wonder why Mr. Scrooge is having a hissy?!?

He told me, "For gosh darn sakes! It's not even Thanksgiving yet and some people think it's funny to put up their Christmas stuff?? Humbug!" and stomped right off.

Sorry, Ebenezer, but the fact is, Christmas is right around the corner. In fact, after Thanksgiving Day there's only 28 days left until the big day. Lots of people like to see the lights up longer than the normally allotted time frame, but this year it seems like it will be here much sooner. So yes, all the neighbors are putting up their holiday best - just playing catch-up with the retail stores.

I asked him, "Mr. Scrooge, the retail shops have all had their Christmas decorations up since before the end of September. Why aren't you mad at them?"

Mr. Scrooge replied, "Humph! I don't go shopping in those stores! Humbug!"

Makes me wonder how he does go shopping.

Painfully, we all have to put up with the early decorations that seem to last forever. In the four months after August's end, we have to be subjected to jingle bells, wreaths, plastic Christmas trees, an overabundance of lights, and all that wrapping paper. It's enough to drive a person crazy! Especially when we still have to suffer through Halloween - all that candy and those goofy decorations - and Thanksgiving - trust me, I've seen enough turkey to last me well into next Thanksgiving!

Sometimes it does seem like the holidays drag on and on. One thing to remember is that they do end, thankfully, though not always painlessly. 'Tis the season to not be grumpy - just be thankful it's almost over.

Grafitti COULD be art!

I just don't understand. Some kids spend a lot of their time spray painting symbols, letters, etc. on public and private property, hoping to catch someone's attention or send out a secret message that could only be decoded after gym class. Some of these jobs are quite beautiful to gaze upon. It gives me pause to wonder a few things:

First, why couldn't they put that talent instead toward a mural, painting, drawing on anything else BUT private/public property? Is the thought of doing something legal that scary to them?

Second, WHERE are their PARENTS? Do they really have any clue as to what their child/children is/are up to?

Lastly, WHERE are the POLICE?? They're always laying in wait when I'm late and want to speed (just a little) to get there; how come they're never around when the tagging starts?

Thoughts to chew on...

No Noise Allowed, Please

I just read an article on my metropolitan city's web site that has me totally tweaked! A haunted house was shut down by 7pm tonight because the neighbors thought it was too noisy and complained. I had to read this short article twice to make sure I wasn't nodding off at my computer again. Let me say again: a haunted house was shut down for being too noisy.

I can-not believe it!

So, what's next? We're going to turn away babies from all restaurants because they're too noisy? How about these same neighbors and their graduation parties? We get to tell them "Oh, sorry, you can't have a graduation party because you're disturbing my peace and quiet?" Good grief, if you really need it THAT quiet, consider buying a pair of earplugs. If this person acts as a good neighbor throughout the rest of the year, and we do realize that Halloween is not a quiet day (or night), why not let him have a little fun and celebrate?! Is it really that hard for these people to return the good neighborly feelings he's generously bestowed upon them for all this time?

Maybe it's true – you can dot all the "i"s and cross all the "t"s and still not get anywhere. I'm not completely sure, maybe there IS a way I haven't thought of. I better ask my neighbors. :)

Smell you a mile away!

Imagine walking down the street with your four-year-old and you pass by an attractive young lady (perhaps younger than 40) dressed rather nicely. Just after you exchange small smiles and walk on by your four-year-old loudly announces, "Yuck! She smells!". Yes, to your chagrin she has heard you and isn't quite sure how to react, so she opts to continue walking. Sadly, and rather embarrasingly, this actually happened with me.

I do realize that as we grow older our sense of smell is probably #2 on the list of "things gone bye-bye", but since when has it been permissible for anyone to absolutely take a bath in their favorite scent?!? I'm not talking about senior citizens - I'm talking successful young ladies (at least, they appear to be younger than I) whose smell arrives a whole lot sooner than they do. My mother used to tell me, "a little goes a long way"; in fact, Mary Kay consultants teach just that about their makeup line. So tell me why I have to endure about 4-5 different colognes, spritzes, perfumes, and eau-de-toilettes in a stairway, elevator, doorway - even the streets aren't safe! I couldn't begin to imagine trying to conduct a job interview with someone so in love with their "signature scent".

Ladies, some people are genuinely allergic to such strong smells (my newest friend, Cheryl, is one such person); my seven-year-old and 17-year-old actually gag on perfume that smells too strong. Did you actually forget to use deoderant that day, or did you really want people to negatively remember your presence? If someone vaguely smells your fragrance and is intrigued, they will ask you about it, guaranteed. But, if someone can smell your fragrance before you have the chance to walk into a room, don't blame them for their eyes suddenly welling up with tears; chances are, it's not because you had such a good visit last time and just seeing you again makes them want to cry. Onions produce similar effects, but that doesn't mean I want to smell like one. It's really not that attractive.

Lightly, please, on the scents. A little really does go a long way.